Brotherly Love
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Sonic feels left out and Mario's constant teasing doesn't help matters any.


Sonic ran away as fast as he could, weeping into his non-blue sleeve. He dashed into the shed behind the Metroid house.

Ridley heard all the commotion and darted outside to see what was going on. He broke into the shed and looked underneath a tarp. There he found the blue hedgehog crying.

"Go away!" Sonic coughed out between tears.

Ridley frowned. "I can't have you messing around my property. You already tore a trail through my precious peonies."

Sonic gasped. "I'm… I'm so sorry. Shoot… this really isn't my day…"

Ridley sat down beside Sonic and pulled two burritos out of his pocket (yes, he was wearing overalls and a straw hat). He handed one of the burritos to Sonic. "What's going on with you? I've never seen you so emotional, Sonic," said the big boy.

Sonic inhaled the jumbo taco into his gullet. He licked the residue from his gloves and hung his head. "Mario said something mean to me…"

Ridley rolled his eyes. It was a classic case of the rivalry blues. Why couldn't Sonic get along with Mario like all the other third-party reps could?

"What did he say?" asked Ridley.

"Mario was boasting about how he has a brother and it reminded me that my brother didn't make it into Smash Ultimate…"

"You mean Shadow?"

"No! Shadow's not my brother, you uncultured pleb. I'm talking about Manic!"

Ridley sighed because things were starting to get too stupid even for him, and he was originally a meme since the Pyrosphere incident of 2014.

"Cheer up, lad. Not everyone can get into the game. Just be glad you've got friends like those Kojima twins."

Sonic started to cry even louder. "But Manic deserved it more than anyone!" He wailed like a siren and Ridley covered his auditory orifices because he was quite sensitive to the cry of the Hedgehog.

Ridley kicked Sonic out of his shed and resumed planting his zinnias. Then Toon Link ran up and started murdering his lawn.

Sonic put his hands in his pockets (he wore no such articles such as the accursed pants) and kicked an old tin can across the street. It ended up hitting Little Mac and he fell off the stage. Duck Hunt Duo was awarded a KO that day and no one was ever able to figure things out.

"I hate Mario!" grumbled Sonic. "He's always picking on me for my insecurities…"

"Cheer up, you're my friend!" said Ganondorf. He, Dedede, and Wario were sitting under a tree having a picnic.

"Come join us and tell us your troubles, Sonic," said Wario as if he was trying to get sick content for his next gruesome fanfic.

Sonic sat down next to Dedede and ate one of their tuna sandwiches. "I have a serious prob, guys."

"We all got problemos, brohan," said Ganondorf. "We all learn to deal with it and move on."

"Yep," said Dedede as he rolled his corn cob in some melty buttery goodness. "For instance, I's gots dat there Kirby ta deal wit' all da live long day. But ever since I started playing Fortnite and getting those sick squad wins, ever'thing has been peachy keen!"

Sonic tried hard to crack a smile, but could not feel any positive energy in which to carry out such a gleeful activity. That's because Sonic hates Fortnite because he was the victim of a Vbucks scam.

"My dad and I don't have the best relationship," said Ganondorf. "But I just remember my son Dougy J. and strive to be a better father than he was to me."

"What's your issue, Sonic? Maybe we can help," said Wario.

"My problem is that my brother Manic didn't make it into Ultimate as a playable character," said Sonic into his Orange Crush.

Ganondorf and Dedede looked at each other in confusion. Sonic's problem sounded quite stupid.

"Well, did you try talking to the big man?" asked Wario.

"I've written him a letter requesting Manic every single day since the Inkling trailer and all he did was make Knuckles an Assist Trophy."

Ganondorf took a sip of his Starbies. "Gosh, you certainly were persistent."

"Yeah, I even blackmailed him by releasing early copies in Mexico." Sonic stood up and belched like the gaseous clouds of Bespin. "Thank you for your kind consideration, friends." He slowly loped away from the group with tears still streaming down to his ankles.

"Dat boy is mad crazy!" spurted Dedede after Sonic was out of view.

Sonic continued down the path until he finally made it home to the Sonic House. He opened the door and stepped inside, setting his Power Sneakers on the coatrack. He plopped onto his sofa and watched crummy TV for twelve hours.

By then, Sonic had immense eyestrain. He corrected this by taking out his contact and wearing his monocle. It made him look like a hot nerd in some respects.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. Sonic took to the door slowly and opened it up. He was immediately met with a set of righteous pectorals underlined by the most formidable six-pack this side of Smashville.

The visitor flung his gorgeous blond hair back and gave Sonic a thumb-up. "Hey, Sonic! Long time no see!" he said.

"Ken Masters? What are you here for?" asked Sonic surprised and wishing he didn't look like such a cycloptic geek in the face of a stud warrior.

"Sonic, you're never gonna believe what happened, but I got this in the mail today," said Ken as he took a note out of his gi. "It's from Mr. Ken's Father Masters. He's my dad!"

Sonic couldn't stop staring at his neighbor's succulent biceps. He wanted to lick them.

"It says here that my dad finally got a new wife after my mother passed away last year," said Ken.

"Oh my, I hadn't heard about that. Sorry for your loss, Ken," said Sonic, his tongue secretly making its way to wrap around the hunkiness.

"Guess who my dad ended up hooking up with though," Ken smirked. "Aleena the Hedgehog. Your mom!"

"Holy cow!" cried Sonic. He put his tongue back in its rightful place. "Wait… then that means…"

Ken smiled the cheekiest smile known to mankind (and whatever villager is). "Hug me, brotha!" he cried as he engulfed his spiny new relative in his warm, loving, American embrace.

Sonic returned the hug and then ran over to his armoire. He took out his magic amulet and it transformed into an electric guitar. Sonic then began to sing as Ken Tastumaki'd around the house with his good looks.

"Well, I never thought that it be so simple but

I found a way, I found a way…"

Sonic and Ken then ran into Mario's House and beat him and his brother up with their brotherly fists of glory. Sonic then danced on the bros' badly beaten bodies while he continued to jam out.

"It's gonna take some time to realign!

But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find!"

Sonic and Ken then looked back saucily at their handiwork.

"So just turn around!"

Sonic and Ken then plopped down in their lounge chairs and clinked their chili dog- and pasta-flavoured sodas together. They then took a sip and smiled into the sky. The sun smiled back. Everything was finally perfect.

 **THE END**


End file.
